I am an Island

My life is empty. It's pointless. My dearest and closest friends are from Twitter. I have many real life acquaintances, but very few real friends. And even those few friends I have, I don't let close. There is only one person who I will let hug me for more than 4 seconds, and that's only because he once forced me to, broke down that barrier, and made me cry.

My Twitter friends are so dear, but they are only online. I feel safe behind that barrier, and can allow them to get close, because if they hurt me I can simply unfollow, or even block them and it's like they never existed. I can pretend that they never touched me.

I want so badly to be held right now. I wish there was somebody here that could just wrap me in his arms and make me feel protected. I ache for this. Even worse than that ache is the pain in the knowledge that I will never allow myself to be so vulnerable as to ask that of someone, or even allow them to 'protect' me if they wanted to. That is a weakness that I can't bare.

Even now, as I am putting my fears and emotional issues out here for all to see, I still feel safe. Because, as you know, you're simply an online persona who I don’t actually know, and you don't know me, and you can't hurt me, can you?