Turning over leaves.

I love the thought of "turning over a new leaf". I've often wondered where the phrase comes from. I understand that if you turn over a leaf, there's a new view on the back of it, but why a NEW leaf?

I would rather think that I am turning over the same leaf. Showing a new side to the world, but still a new side of ME. I will always be me, but sometimes I like to believe that I can retain my me-ness and still change… seem different and new.

I have met someone very special. He's always been around; I've just never spoken to him before for unexplainable reasons. He is a remarkable man, but why don't I have the faith to believe that even he can change me. Isn't it wrong for me to allow outside influences to affect me? Even if it's positive? I shouldn't be so weak as to rely on the caring of someone else to cause me to shine.

Is he my leaf? Do I turn it over and hope it is better on the other side? Why turn the leaf over at all? One side must be dingy and rotten; the other side fresh and new. Won't the new side become dingy and rotten just like the first side?