Thought Record

8/26/10

Situation-
Job interview

Thoughts-
Don't get your hopes up
You're not going to get it
Don't hope. It'll just suck more when you don't get it
I really could like this job
I might stay in this field for a long time
I can do this job

Feelings-
Excitment 60%
nervous 30%
dread 70%
confident 50%

8/29/10

Situation -
Mike tells me to move out.

Thoughts-
I ruin everything
Life is always going to be shit
I can't do anything right
I'm a user. I use everyone
I have nothing left
I ruin every thing
I ruin every thing
I ruin every thing
This isn't just a "hard time" I bring it all on myself
Nobody can trust me

Feelings-
Worthless 100%
Useless 96%
sad 10%
angry 75%
hopeless 90%

8/29/10

Situation-
Kim offered to let me sleep in her basement

Thoughts-
She doesn't really want me
I'll screw that up too
It'll just be a repeat of Mike & Mark
I can't do anything right
I don't try hard enough
I don't deserve her friendship
She shouldn't be so nice to me
I can't tale her offer because she might find out that I'm a user and not worth her help
I am just like my mother
I'm not worth her trouble
I should just kill myself
All I do it take
If I accept her offer she'll regret it and never help anyone again, even someone more deserving than me.