I can talk. I can socialize with people. I can concentrate on a book or movie. I can get out of bed. I sound peppy.
If I can do all that, doesn't that make me normal? If a sign of depression is the inability to do those tasks, am I depressed? If I can get out of bed, talk to people and sound peppy, and concentrate, does that mean that I'm NOT depressed? Stands to reason...
Sure I made a plan to kill myself, have no ambition, don't see any personal worth, but maybe that's all justified, not depression. Perhaps there's truely no point to my life, and the desire to end it isn't caused by depression, but rather the realization that the world has nothing to gain from me being in it and nature trying to be rid of me.
27 years of wasted air, space, food... All resources in general. I've not made any impact on the world. There's nothing to show for my life, and if the past is any indication of the future, there will likely be another 27 years of the same. Why continue to consume when the resources I'm exhausting could fuel someone worthwhile?
These are valid thoughts and ideas. Directly stated, what if I'm not suffering from "depression" but simply a realization of the truth?
Mood: 2
Listening to: Jim Brickman- Lake Erie Rainfall
If I can do all that, doesn't that make me normal? If a sign of depression is the inability to do those tasks, am I depressed? If I can get out of bed, talk to people and sound peppy, and concentrate, does that mean that I'm NOT depressed? Stands to reason...
Sure I made a plan to kill myself, have no ambition, don't see any personal worth, but maybe that's all justified, not depression. Perhaps there's truely no point to my life, and the desire to end it isn't caused by depression, but rather the realization that the world has nothing to gain from me being in it and nature trying to be rid of me.
27 years of wasted air, space, food... All resources in general. I've not made any impact on the world. There's nothing to show for my life, and if the past is any indication of the future, there will likely be another 27 years of the same. Why continue to consume when the resources I'm exhausting could fuel someone worthwhile?
These are valid thoughts and ideas. Directly stated, what if I'm not suffering from "depression" but simply a realization of the truth?
Mood: 2
Listening to: Jim Brickman- Lake Erie Rainfall
If this post was taken to any Doctor worth his millions, he would diagnose you as severely depressed in ten seconds flat... I'm no DR and I could make that call.
ReplyDeleteThe sheer fact that you are attempting to rationalize your deep feeling of worthlessness and trying to convince others that you're justified in thinking this way - is like a giant vegas style flashing neon depression sign...
I hope things look up for you soon, this is coming from someone who's been there...
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=suchXfakeXsmiles <--- me a yr. ago
Dear Ms Battshitcrazy,
ReplyDeleteI know that the doctors say I am depressed, and I certainly don't feel happy, but I'm just thinking that maybe there's a reason other than "depression".