I'm feeling lost today... I haven't don't any gardening since Friday and every time I think of getting out there I feel how hot it is and lose all interest in everything. I have done nothing today but read and watch some shows. I'm floundering, and can't fight my way to the top of the muck.
I feel like I need someone to talk to, but there's nobody. Did I ever have anyone to talk to? I must have... But who? Where did they go and why can't I remember their names? There are people out there, but I can't trust them. I want to reach out, but I know they'll hurt me.
My life is like a hand-build raft. Feels solid, floats, but I don't really know what it takes to build a raft. My raft is slowly coming apart. I can swim, but not forever. I can reach out for a log and it will float me, but I know that eventually it will roll over and dump me back into the water...
Mood: 4
Lisntening to: Safe In Your Embrace- Kevin Kern
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